ELYSSA JAKIM
THE COPY CRUSH AUDIT
A Gamechanging $33 AUDIT TO HUMANIZE YOUR COPY FOR More Conversions IN THE AGE OF AI
FOR Innovative FOUNDERS & Visionary CREATORS WHO'VE BEEN FEELING THE AI BURN
& want in on the copy revival that’s coming
Here's the thing, when everyone replaced copywriters with their robots, the internet world started glazing their eyes. And OG last unicorn human copywriters like me get called in on 7-figure businesses's launches to un-ai that shiz.
The good news?
If you've been feeling the AI & launch funk in this AI age presents a real opportunity for a COPY REVIVAL, because the strongest message will rise above.
The world doesn't want your bot, it wants YOU!
Your ART.
Your MESSAGE.
Your AUTHENTICALLY UNPOLISHED (but so perfectly honest) expression of what you’re here to offer the world.
This is the kind of copy that’s going to convert in 2026. I believe wholeheartedly this renaissance period will be marked by the fierce return of human connection, and the most magnetic content will come from the ones brave enough to be fully seen in their unpolished, non-robotic glory.
And helping you get your copy to a place that makes it so your audience can’t look away is something I am 100% HERE for. 👏
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"Elyssa has a rare gift—the ability to translate the essence of your message in your voice with the expertise of a seasoned marketer in a style that feels relatable and real. Working with her has been an effortless pleasure, every time!”
—KELLY BROGAN, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR, CEO, KELLY BROGAN MD
MAKE YOUR COPY CRUSH AGAIN
Give me some copy that needs an expert set of eyes, optimizations, or just ain't converting, and we'll turn it all the way UP!!! 💅 💅 💅
Here's how it works & what you get:
STEP 1:
You send me a key piece of copy in your ecosystem to audit (an email sequence, a sales page, a landing page, ads).
STEP 2:
I'll conduct my conversion copy-ninja review and give you at least 3 actionable suggestions for you to crank it up! Think: better headlines, me showing you the highest yield places to uplevel, a who writes launches for 7-figure businesses who knows when it's done, when to ship it, and how to lovingly convert your people without sleaze.
STEP 3:
I deliver your Copy Crush audit and next steps to sales messaging success via a loom video for you and only you.
You implement the changes and see how good it feels when people RESONATE with your message.
For just $33 you get to benefit from fiercely human copy in the age of AI (aka the revival we need in online business)
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“Okay WOW! Being that I've written many of my own pages and emails for years, I never fully understood why having a copywriter, a true blue trained copywriter, would be supportive to my business.”
I finally got the nudge when one of my friends introduced me to Elyssa's work and I said okay let's give it a go. Hiring Elyssa's support was THE MISSING KEY to easeful sales for my offers and programs. Not only did she take a massive weight off my shoulders by taking this off my plate, but she has a way of literally revealing to you the depths of your own work (to you and to others) through her words.
My launches have produced way more money than prior to hiring Elyssa because she sells, explains, showcases and holds your messages with such pristine reverence. She's a gift to any bizz, take the leap babes.
—MADELYN MOON, SOMATIC FACILITATOR + ENERGETIC MASTERY
Hi, I'm Elyssa Jakim (uh-leesa Jah-keem), non-AI conversion copywriter, creative marketing strategist, + brand voice expert for world-class, rebellious brands that give a damn.
I specialize in writing for visionary thought leaders, best-selling authors, and world-renowned wellness brands in the personal development, online coaching, and digital course space.
I'm thrilled that you're here!
A storyteller to the core, I've got an M.F.A. in Screenwriting at UCLA and hold a B.A. from Harvard in Visual Environmental Studies (aka Media Studies) with a citation in French and a minor in English.
I've written mountains of high-performing conversion copy for iconic brands + leaders including: Kelly Brogan, Madelyn Moon, Eyla Cuenca, Chanti Zak, All Connected Agency, The Numinous, Noma Life, and many more.
I midwifed Kelly Brogan's new book The Reclaimed Woman.
And I'm currently the core email writer for a 7-figure Shilajit brand.
I'm also a multipassionate, multihyphenate, yogi, toddler mama, devotee of divine mother, energy healer, former actress, and film nerd who lives in a historic home in Middle Georgia. Can you tell I'm a manifesting generator?! 😂
Meet your new copy ninja & messaging magi:
IT’S TIME TO BE THE CREAM THAT RISES ABOVE THE CROP OF AI SLOP —
AND BRING YOUR FIERCELY alive UNIQUE VOICE BACK TO YOUR SALES COPY — to amplify conversions as you elevate the internet.
With luminous copy love,
– XO Elyssa, Last Unicorn Non-Ai Conversion Copywriter
MORE KIND WORDS FROM VISIONARY LEADERS
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“Elyssa has deep expertise in the wellness space. She understands the culture right out of the gate. It’s been super valuable to work with someone who doesn’t have a learning curve in that area.”
Most copywriters don’t come in with such a high level, strategic, deep brand understanding. On a strictly process level, working with Elyssa is easy and enjoyable, which is quite unique. Not only does she have a great attitude, but she’s incredibly communicative and responsive. She always delivers when she says she will.
Given everything I have to juggle, it’s a relief to know that once I ask her for something, I don’t have to think about it again. I just know it’s going to happen. It’s clear to me that we wouldn’t be where we are without her copy and her strategy."
—WILL VAN SICKLE, CO-FOUNDER, NOMA
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“Elyssa is a gentle-faery-ivy-league-goddess-o-goodness (she graduated from Harvard and also ran a faery school...so the best of all of the worlds!).
She will support you in dropping into the wisewoman that lives in you, tug at your spirit, and call forth what it is that you are longing to nourish in the world -- yes aspects of your biz but also aspects of your own soul's call.
She is skilled at bringing quiet to a whirling mind and will make you feel like you are lying next to a pond in a meadow on a warm spring day allowing your own knowing to bubble forth easefully
Elyssa has a heart of gold and a diamond mind…you will be held with tremendous care throughout your journey with her. And of course, Elyssa is a copy + branding expert. Expect her literary acumen + writing prowess to forge new pathways for your work and words in the world.”
— Jenny Glick, Intimacy Catalyzer & Torchbearer
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"People reach out after every email to let me know how much the content resonates with them.
Elyssa is proactive, organized, and a fantastic writer. She's able to take my notes and turn them into newsletter gold, with virtually no additional direction from me.
She just gets it, and having her on the team has brought so much value to Numinous Books."
— Ruby Warrington, Author & Founder of The Numinous Books
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"It's hard to put into words just how talented, whip smart, empathic, original, and capable Elyssa is, but I'll give it a shot.
Elyssa has helped me on countless projects for high 7 and 8-figure brands and helped create quizzes that have led to hundreds of thousands of leads for our clients. I trust her implicitly to help lead our other team members and junior writers in refining and improving their work.
She's a strategic powerhouse with no shortage of brilliant ideas.
But most importantly, she has the most calming, compassionate, loving presence which makes working with her a true joy and permeates through all the work that she does. She is too good for this world so pay her whatever she asks and consider yourself blessed."
— CHANTELLE ZAKARIASEN, CEO, CHANTI ZAK
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"Working with Elyssa is effortless in the best way possible. She has an incredible gift for taking scattered, half-formed ideas and transforming them into clear, powerful copy that truly lands... and more importantly, converts.
Her work extends beyond language... she decodes your audience with precision and identifies what stirs them at their core. The result is copy that feels authentic to you , but resonates deeply with the people you want to reach.
If you want someone who will hone your message, sharpen your voice, and create copy that genuinely connects and drives results ... she’s worth every investment."
- Suzanne Moscovitz, Marketing COO
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Elyssa writes such specific personality-driven copy that clients can’t believe how easily — and how well — she captures their voice.
She’s great to work with, too. She approaches every project with a can-do attitude. On top of that, she’s reliable, trustworthy and easy to talk to. If you’re considering hiring a copywriter, I can’t recommend Elyssa enough. You’ll be in the (kindest) expert hands!”
— Amy Posner, Conversion Copywriter & Copy Chief